Friday, October 8, 2010

All The Small Things

Life is a collection of moments. Each moment is a gift; a gift to be in awe of, and yet, I take moment after moment for granted. I waste these moments anticipating moments to come and stressing about things I can’t control. Yesterday, as I drove to Dallas, I had a very simple goal…to make it to Seymore before Sonic Happy Hour ended. Oh don’t worry; I totally made it with just minutes to spare! Something so simple totally made my day. As I drove alone and carefree in the car, with the music blaring, belting my favorite songs, I took note of all the beauty around me. I realized, yet again, how often I get caught up in how much I have going on that I miss out on the beauty around me.

I listened to a sermon this week in which one line stood out to me. The pastor was talking about rest (imagine that) and read the following passage:

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I mean, let’s be real! I need to write this passage on my forehead, on my mirror, in my car. In fact, maybe I should make a blanket out of it so I see it when I get in bed. It shouldn’t be this hard! Why must I make it so challenging? Anyway, his comment was “If we’re burned out, it’s not God’s yoke.” I struggle because I do what I do to ultimately bring glory to God. My involvement makes me a better person and gives me more opportunities to reach others. My motives are right, yet my life is out of control.

Lately, my physical ailment has been bothering me. The pain is getting worse and I am feeling weak. I get discouraged because there really is no cure. Research is showing that, unlike musculoskeletal diseases, Fibromyalgia is neurological. It totally makes sense, but how do we fix it? I mean, I’m 21 years old. Most people don’t get diagnosed with things like this until the latter part of their life. I worry about what I will encounter then if I am already struggling this much now. And look, I’m already worrying a paragraph later…this is not going to be easy. But honestly, it would be much easier to rest if my head was not throbbing and I wasn’t feeling piercing pain all over my body. But then I tell myself that it could be so much worse…it could be deadly. When I think about it as a manageable ailment that has not landed me in a hospitable bed, I am grateful. I have so many blessings for which I am thankful! Not to worry, my coffee is ready! That in itself is the highlight of my day! The aroma brings a smile to my face…I totally identify with the Folger’s commercial now!

Yes, I do get overwhelmed A LOT these days; however, I am enjoying life. I am reminded daily of how precious life really is and how quickly circumstances change. I came to Dallas this weekend to get away from all the things on my to-do list. When I arrived at my aunt’s house, my two-year-old cousin came outside in her diaper and a pink monkey shirt. She pointed at me and said, “Aimee!” I think the reason my passion is children is because they constantly remind me how precious life is. They love us so tenderly regardless of our wrongs. Today I am making a new list, and at the top is to enjoy every moment and take a mental snapshot of every smile on Claire Bear’s face! No worry, no stress, no frustration. This day was made for me, and in it I will rejoice.

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