Friday, October 15, 2010

Time..where does it go?

You know those days when you feel completely, totally and utterly useless? Well, I had another one today. In fact, this whole week has been one of those days after another. One would think this would have been a really relaxing week as I had Fall Break until Wednesday and no real class this week because of work. However, I made up for it with other involvement.

I was watching the Real Housewives D.C Reunion, and I cued in on one comment, "...she looks very stressed. And, when you get stressed, it's time for a lifestyle change." Now, I heard that and my first inclination was, "Heck, if I changed my life everytime I got stressed, I'd be stressed from all the change!" But then I thought about it...maybe it is time for a change. Not just a change, but a true change. When I really stop to think about it, time has been this way for quite some time. I cannot deny loving most everything in my life and the hard part is prioritizing all the things I love!

I miss working out and eating healthy. I miss doing this daily. I know I feel better when I do, and I have so much more energy. I miss catching up with my best friends in the little bit of free time I have. I think I have been so concerned with trying to keep up with everyone else's social energy that I have been lagging behind in my job mode. I know I cannot physically handle as much as others can, and I choose to use my energy in the workplace and with loved ones.

I think one of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that you are doing everything good, but nothing well. I am a perfectionist and I like to give my all to everything. I know it is dangerous to expect this much from myself in all aspects of my life, but when I start becoming mediocre in areas I typically do my best in, I know I am off.

Sometimes, being a good leader means letting go of the reins. It's time for me to let go of some things. Letting go will be my goal and inspiration for the change I want to see in myself.

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