This weekend was not what I expected, yet it was just what I needed. Friday night, my sorority had a Western event for Parent's Weekend. It was in conjunction with our Academic Excellence Banquet, and we asked my dad to speak. As expected, he did a wonderful job. He knows just what to say and is a natural! When I watch him lead, I am inspired. He is a great leader, and I find myself wishing often that some of his qualities came easier for me. My mom is the heart of our family. She is a lover, just like me (or is it me like her?), and she always reminds me to think of others. Sometimes this annoys me beyond belief! I constantly think of others to the point that I run myself down, but she encourages me to put things in perspective. I took her to the Peddler Show today, a favorite experience for me. We found lots of fun gifts and had a nice time chatting.
Life Lesson #1: My mom reminded me that I cannot control situations; all I can control is my attitude and how I react to them. I explained to her that I constantly feel like I am letting others down. I feel like they cannot understand my situation and the exhaustion I feel. I get so frustrated and yet, I can't do much about it. Instead of aching for other's to understand something they simply just can't, I should realize that I know what can and cannot handle. I have to be better at micromanaging and prioritizing all the things I love. You see, the problem is I can't do everything I want to accomplish! I am so ambitious and it is not possible to do all these things and do them well. It is my responsibility to draw the line to the things that aren't as special so I will have more energy for the things that are.
On Saturday, I slept in until 9:00 am, which happens never and was quite a treat. I went for a 4 mile run, came home and cleaned house and worked on a project in my cave for the rest of the day. This day of going nowhere and seeing no one was absolutely perfect and just what I needed. Scrapbook heaven exploded in my bedroom and I reminisced over the past as I put a book of my life together. I truly have a great, blessed life. I see the gifts I have been given on every single page. The frustrations life brings become so obsolete when I look at all the beauty in my life. I am loved, I have much and I know my purpose. Ok, so I don't fully understand my purpose yet, but I know where I'm headed. The day ended with a roomie date with Mae Mae. We went to Starbuck's and I ordered a Skinny Vanilla, Pumpkin Spice, Chai Tea Latte. I know, it's like a $6 drink, but no worries! I had my birthday coupon for being a Gold Card Member (yep, it's official!!!!), so they gave me a venti for free! Then we went to see Life As We Know It. Of course I wore my pajamas. It was nice to watch a movie and not think about all my obligations. I even came home and read before falling asleep...so never happens anymore!
Life Lesson #2: I have GOT to take a chill pill! I feel so much better when I get in a good workout and recharge on my own. I need that time like I need food and neglecting myself only makes life harder. I had the chance to listen to a few sermons too. My spiritual battery needed recharging too. I really struggle with trusting God. I know he is there and I know he will protect me. Yet, too often, I stress out about the big picture rather than enjoying the here and now. Dahlia helped to remind me of this. It was wonderful seeing her this weekend! She and I had the opportunity to talk about some really big stuff. I have always been a planner. I can't wait for the future, and I put everything into preparing me for the best future possible. Unfortunately, I sometimes neglect very important moments because I have spent all my energy on areas pertaining to the future. I always say I am going to work on this and then I get back in my rut. This is one of the greatest periods of life,and I don't want to miss it. So, hold me accountable...I really am going to work on it!
Sunday was spent with my kiddoes in Children's Church, hangin with the momma and then with my bestie. It ended with Kappa Delta initiation. Ritual events are my favorite as they are a reminder of why we are part of this sorority. I'm not a "sisterhood" type of person. I'm not a touchy, feely, "girl, I love you" kind of friend. But, at events like this, I don't care. It was so special watching the initiates as they nervously awaited instructions. They were all smiles! I couldn't help but think about my own experience as a New Member. How time has flown and how great my experience has been!
Life Lesson #3: It truly is about relationships. I get frustrated with the time commitment. I get disheartened by those who misrepresent our principals. I get annoyed with the cattiness. But, those are just facts of life no matter where I go or what I get involved in. I chose this Sorority because I believed in their Philanthropy. I felt a camaraderie among their members. I agreed with their values and principles and I saw a place for myself. All of those things are still true 3 years later. If anything, our bond has gotten stronger and our commitment to service has improved. I am proud to be a KD lady and I am thankful for the experience I have had. My hope is that the new initiates would stay committed to the oath they took and make the most of every experience. I wouldn't change a thing, but I will work on my relationships. I have this terrible problem with trying to do it all by myself. I don't like to share with others and I take the world on alone. It was never intended to be that way. I am trying to learn that, but it is hard to rely on others.
This is my beautiful life. It isn't perfect, but it is perfectly blessed. I will take on this week with a fresh start, a positive attitude, an open heart and an eagerness. I will do my best, but stop myself when it is too much. I will make an effort to communicate with my friends and I will value the social excitement of the week.
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